I've been doing a lot of thinking these last few days. A LOT of thinking. In fact, I've not really been myself...though at this point I'm not really sure what "myself" is. I've lost my appetite. I don't want to talk to anyone. I just... I don't know.

I went to go see the new Harry Potter movie today, and then I came home and went outside onto the front porch. I spent the better part of an hour just writing down random thoughts in a paper journal. It was such a strange thing that came over me. I'm not sure what to make of it.

It's almost as if I'm subconsciously building up some immunities to the things that have been bothering me. I can feel a tightening in my chest as though something were actually physically changing. Again, it's so incredibly odd.

I've been listening to lots of music too. Lots and lots. Right now I'm hooked on Since October's album. It struck some kind of serious chord with me, and I feel like I've always known the lyrics. Yes, kind of like deja vu.

I get that a lot too. The feeling that I've been there and done that. There are times when it makes my heart really hurt. Like I'm missing something...or someone. Mostly someone... I can't figure it out. I also can't figure out my distorted dreams...even though I can see the faces and I can attach feelings towards them.

I don't know what's going on with me lately. I feel as though I'm on the verge of something huge, but at the same time I feel as though I'm running in place. Everything is solid and unmoving.

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