Believe me when I say that I wish I could change. I never asked for this. These ups and downs...this hate, and this love... I have to suppress the urge to just up and run away pretty much every single day of my life. It hurts, and it's tiresome. It makes me feel old, when all I really want in this existence is to be forever young.
I want out. I want to feel alive again. I want to actually feel the wind when it smacks me in the face. This numb exterior is making me crazy. I don't know how much longer I'm going to last before I crack.
"...because I'm carrying too many important things, it became difficult to walk today..."
I keep telling myself that tomorrow will be better. When am I ever going to learn that it's just better to accept the facts instead of lying to myself?
"...I have to make the first move, to not let go of the hand I'm holding..."
No one can fix this except for me. If I can't fix it, then I'm doomed to feel this emptiness eternally. I just need strength...and some love...and perhaps a little guidance, because it's so hard for me to do anything on my own.
"Even if we start to fall, in the strength to step forward...surely the smiles for all the times we cried, will be waiting..."
I believe in myself.
